Anarchy Parlor




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August 05, 2016 at 01:24 AM

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681.06 MB
23.976 fps
1hr 38 min
P/S 4 / 45
1.41 GB
23.976 fps
1hr 38 min
P/S 5 / 31

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by thesar-2 4 / 10

I Saw Little Anarchy at This Hostel

Wow, you're late. Well, I am too, being that this came out over a year ago, but they were super late to the Hostel/Saw torture porn already- faded fad.

There are two things that work in this movie. (Three, if you're a heterosexual male or lesbian: tons of titties!) One: the actual, and minute, torture scenes were quite effective. Definitely had to look away for a few moments; they was pretty intense. And two: Robert LaSardo formally known as The Artist…in this crapfest.

He acted, spoke and stole scenes better than four times the ability of anyone else, with the exception of his protégé – she was pretty decent, so she gets a two times less than LaSardo. If not for all the other garbage in this "thriller," I would actually highly recommend the movie for him alone.

When the movie opens, we're introduced to both insanely terrible dialogue – so bad, I thought this movie was dubbed and tried to follow their mouths when they spoke to see if it was; incredibly, this was actually from the script – and sort of a group of Americans in what appears to be maybe Europe. The movie opens so vaguely that when the actual plot kicks in, or even more than half the movie was over, it was hard to attach ourselves to any main character or care if any of them lived or died.

The gist of it is: one of the travelling friends and his could-be-love- interest hook up with a girl with danger written all over her…literally. She takes them to The Artist and his tattoo parlor and after the few good scenes in the movie, the nightmare begins for those two "customers."

The rest of this crud involves nobody friends of the two initial victims trying to find them and fake arguing to what they should do.

I guess you could call it a nostalgia flick for the torture porn movies of days long since passed, but it seemed more of a "Wait? Those days are over?" surprise from the two writers/directors of this.

Just watch Robert LaSardo's other works. Trust me: it won't be hard to find something else he's been in.


Final thoughts: Like most movie-goers, my friend saw the trailer first and was interested. Personally, I despise trailers as they give away too much, or even a little that I would rather be surprised about in the movie. I did watch this trailer…afterwards and I can say I'm glad I didn't see it before. It showed a ton of scenes I had no idea were coming. Granted, it didn't give away everything – there was one poor twist in the ending it avoided, but it certainly would've ruined a ton for me.

Luckily, I do have friends like mine who will watch trailers for me and tell me if I'd be interested. THAT…I can get behind. Spoiling trailers, not so much.

Reviewed by michael-3204 2 / 10

At least there's Robert LaSardo

Grim, amateurish little torture porn bauble set in a Vilnius tattoo parlor, only slightly elevated by a menacing performance from Robert LaSardo as "The Artist." He's the only thing worth watching here, despite the lovely location, which this film wastes. The other performances are so appalling and the dialogue so unimaginative that it's hard to tell how much of it was improvised -- on one hand, I can't imagine anyone writing this garbage out and thinking, "Yeah, that sounds right;" on the other, all the characters (The Artist excepted) sound exactly alike, even with multiple accents, each as aggressively unlikable and inarticulate as the next. A film called "Anarchy Parlor" might reasonably be expected to deliver some inkling of wild imagination, some hint that the filmmakers understand transgression. This predictable, mundane mess fails to deliver.

Reviewed by DanHasThreeLetters 4 / 10

Robert LaSado saves it from being a total dud

A very simple 'lure tourists into a dodgy place in order to do despicable things to them' type of horror.

Overall the acting is poor but Robert LaSado is the saving grace here (you might not recognise his name but you've most likely recognise his face).

I mean he can't make you care for the other characters fate of course (being that most of them are such poor actors and very duchy you kind of feel like they deserve to die... in the movie that is) and it doesn't ever really get scary for the same reason (and plot and directing etc of course as well) but Robert LaSado is an effective bad guy and with any lesser actor this could have flunked completely.

But the Gothic atmosphere is pretty cool as well, and plenty of eye-candy (the women most likely got their roles for their willingness to appear nude more than their acting-abilities... but then they are no worse than the other guys).

So yeah definitely nothing you need to see but nothing you have to absolutely avoid either, if it's on TV one late night or so.

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