Bikini Spring Break


Action / Comedy


Uploaded By: OTTO
Downloaded 85,472 times
February 12, 2013 at 12:28 PM



Mindy Robinson as Amazon
Robert Carradine as Coach Gill
Rachel Alig as Alice
Vanessa Sheri as Contestant #1
720p 1080p
697.40 MB
23.976 fps
1hr 27 min
P/S 1 / 9
1.30 GB
23.976 fps
1hr 27 min
P/S 5 / 5

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by TheLittleSongbird 2 / 10

Another dire Asylum teen comedy

Bikini Spring Break doesn't reach the atrocious depths that Celebrity Sex Tape and especially Sex Pot fell into. It is still a dire movie though, in fact none of the Asylum teen comedies are remotely good with Barely Legal being the least bad(and personal ranking for that movie was 3/10). The only things that stop Bikini Spring Break from being rated any lower are Robert Carradine, the best and only actor in the movie to reach decent level and the beauty of Rachel Alig. Other than that the acting is just awful, there is next to no knack for comic timing and like the other teen comedies from the Asylum the girls are hot but their acting talents certainly do not match. That's not all that bad in Bikini Spring Break. The characters are not interesting or likable in the slightest and are just plain obnoxious. The dialogue is the very meaning of crass and unfunny as well as unbelievably stupid. The story just isn't there and is little more than an excuse to string along tired comedy and nudity scenes, never does it seem to go anywhere. The direction also seems to be non-existent, it reads of just do what you think you can do best and we'll capture it on screen quality, and seems to be reliant on the actors rather than the dialogue. Seeing as the acting is bad, that was a failure. The production values look cheap, the scenery and lighting look over-saturated and plastic-looking, and the editing was clearly done by an amateur. The soundtrack and such is not particularly memorable and does very little in driving the movie, it just seems...there for the sake of having to be there. All in all, not the worst of the Asylum teen comedies but still dire. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Reviewed by horroffe 7 / 10

Low budget! Low rent! No sense!

Upon completion of this cinematic masterpiece, it became apparent that not all of the main characters were shown on the front cover; either to mask the identity of certain characters, or to draw attention to the fact that the film is closely related to the aptly named 'Spring Breakers', which is not to be confused with this title.

This modern classic, by the well renowned Jared Cohn, eclipses his previous work on such thrillers as '12/12/12' and 'Born Bad Uncut'. Jared has really stepped out of his comfort zone and taken the skin- ematic genre by storm.

Get the Kleenex ready because straight away your screen is filled with two large tits, these tits then proceed to then make conversation nude, although the dialogue isn't important as one of them is well above a Double D. The whole team is then whisked away on a no expense spared trip to the National Band Competition, and chaos ensues.

There are wet t-shirt contests, jello-wrestling matches and pole dancers, but that's enough about my top 10 Google searches.

The girls manage to stumble upon money making schemes like an episode of Dragon's Den, although their feeble attempts at these ideas leaves you with the same disappointment felt as when The Antiques Roadshow isn't quite up to scratch.

Now I know what you're thinking, "this film is going to be awful" but you'd only be half right, it's "awe" inspiring. The breasts are pert and the characters brain dead, perfect for a Sunday afternoon watch with the whole family.

So turn off your phones, turn on your computer and illegally download this movie today!

Reviewed by BlackJack_B 3 / 10

Pointless, Asylum, pointless.

Probably the most interesting fact about the film is that Robert Carradine is in it and in the same year he appeared in this awful movie, he also had a role in Django Unchained. I used to think Rena Riffel's double was the most impressive thing in Hollywood (Showgirls and Striptease) but the fact Carradine appeared in one movie with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx and Samuel L. Jackson and direction from Quentin Tarentino and then appeared in this film with a bunch of Hollywood lookalikes (one actress looked like a taller, healthier Selena Gomez, another may be a Jennifer Lawrence clone) in the same year is mind-boggling.

Unlike, say, The 18 Year-Old Virgin or Barely Legal (quickly becoming a personal cult classic), Bikini Spring Break features zero appealing characters, a plot full of holes, non-existent acting and awful pacing. Scenes go on forever, the personalities show zero character development and there's little logic. Just lots of bare breasts.

The actresses playing these one-dimensional characters pretty much play their real-life selves. I saw the movie as a slice of reality of the mind-sets of dumb bimbos than actresses portraying said bimbos.

The threadbare plot sees these moronic beauties driving from Los Angeles to Miami for a Marching Band contest and having their bus break down in Daytona, where they go through the same stuff we've seen for 30-40 years. Nothing ground breaking. Carradine plays their teacher who bravely tries to make the most of his role in order to salvage something when he showed up on to the set of Django Unchained to be ridiculed for appearing in BSP.

There are better raunchy comedies from The Asylum. Unless you can't get enough of bare breasts, pass.

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