Hired to Kill

1990

Action / Thriller

Synopsis


Uploaded By: FREEMAN
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May 25, 2016 at 03:14 AM

Cast

Barbara Niven as Sheila
Brian Thompson as Frank Ryan
Oliver Reed as Michael Bartos
George Kennedy as Thomas
720p 1080p
720.04 MB
1280*720
English
R
24 fps
1hr 31 min
P/S 2 / 3
1.48 GB
1920*1080
English
R
24 fps
1hr 31 min
P/S 3 / 4

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by rooee 3 / 10

You're fired

You couldn't make it up. Except they did: it took two guys to write the story of Frank Ryan, a tough mercenary (played by the inimitable Brian Thompson) who's hired to rescue a foreign rebel leader, and does so by teaming up with a bevy of hot female agents and posing as a gay fashion photographer on a location shoot. Thompson even gets to kiss Oliver Reed and then shoot all his bodyguards.

Every line is a classic. Random quote: "Murder, blood, and paranoia are going to make fine company where you're going." The direction is equal to the words. Nico Mastorakis (aided by Peter Rader) is a trash auteur of Albert Pyun proportions and aside from some okay Steadicam shots the movie is as flat as painted brickwork.

Reed plays the bad guy, Bartos, with an outrageous Johnny Foreigner accent and that walrus moustache of his. He's keeping the rebel leader captive and somehow can't see through the good guys' ruse. Too busy molesting his female staff, perhaps. Meanwhile, Frank's boss is played by George Kennedy, who you'll remember foaming at the mouth in The Naked Gun.

The editing is in a league of its own awfulness. There's a scene early on when Frank is creeping into Bartos's office, and we keep cutting back to the party downstairs for half a second at a time. It's not tense, it's just jarring. And in the final shootout it's virtually impossible to tell who's shooting who.

All of this should add up to a dismal movie, but there's too much fun and conviction and energy for it to be wholly dismissed. Kind of like Plan 9 in that regard. And there's a legitimately great scene where Frank is reporting back to the boss on a bugged line, so he's having to convey his progress via fashion metaphors - "Cosmo are 'dying' to meet!" Unfortunately there's not enough action, and precious little peril, to achieve the Commando gold standard of 80s action movie rewatchability. (Well, it just snuck into 1990.) What there's plenty of is camp, including numerous big-haired fashion shoot/military training montages and more than one raucous female prison. Plus henchmen so stupid they make video game A.I. of the time look smart. Oh yes, and the worst sex scene in film history, complete with actual pan pipes.

Put this one on your 'So Bad It's Good' shelf. It's objectively terrible but somehow irresistible.

Reviewed by Jack Flash 10 / 10

I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

I love these old action movies with bad actors and all the cliches, they're simply just so funny. If you liked showdown in little tokyo or any of Arnolds action movies, then you'll like this :) Too bad this one wasn't shown in cinemas and I had to rent the DVD. So if you have a good sounds system and a thing for old action movies, then GET THIS ONE!!!

Reviewed by gridoon 4 / 10

Absurd

There's plenty of eye-candy here (though Mastorakis had the brilliant idea to kill off the gorgeous babe Barbara Lee Alexander halfway through), and Brian Thomson gives a funny performance, playing the usual "macho" stereotype and spoofing it at the same time. As an action movie, however, "Hired to Kill" is unpretentious but absurd: there is no real action until the last 30 minutes...then there is one of those "Commando"-type endings where the inept bad guys are essentially just stunt men waiting for their cue to "die". The plot is totally anachronistic - brave commandos (preferably American) rescuing a revolutionary leader and overthrowing the local dictator of some banana republic - but the funny part is that, because the film was shot in Corfu, Greece, it was impossible to set it in the usual unnamed Latin American banana republic, so Mastorakis created a fictional Mediterranean country named Cypra (!!!). Hmmm, I wonder which real country's name he was trying oh-so-subtly to avoid...By the way, is this the official low point of Oliver Reed's career? (probably not) (*1/2)

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