There's a point when the main character and voice-over narrator on Love
says that he never sees a movie presenting "emotional sexuality". Sex,
semen and blood, that's what people would like to see. Murphy is a
filmmaker, or so he says. Actually, I think he is just a puppet to
Gaspar Noé intents in this too stereotyped film that had the big
ambition to be innovative.
Love has been creating some noisy around the world, and has been like
that since its premiere during Cannes. Explicit sex and love scenes on
3D, that is how the movie has been known mostly. Despite the bad
reviews, I thought it would be at least interesting. It wasn't, at all.
Before the first scene, there's a sign announcing the moment to put the
3D glasses on. And so the terrible nonsense begins. At the very begin
I've already realized this movie is just noisy. The sex is explicit and
so, so boring, that I was begging to the characters to finish their
business as soon as possible.
What was announced as innovative, is just a bunch of clichés put
together. It is filmmaking in its worse. Gaspar Noe thinks he knows so
much, and that he is above the other mere mortals. His condescending
arrogance is staggering, actually. I imagine him thinking: this world
is so mediocre, full of prude hypocrites, I'll show them how it's done
and make a movie about excruciating love and sex. So he started to
write it and finally realized it wouldn't be so easy. To talk about
life, and love, and sex it is necessary to be really alive, and not
just criticizing the other's ways from outside. Unable to write a true
love sexy story, he decided then to check every box that came to his
mind relating to sex: explicit scenes, close on dicks, threesome, sex
clubs, homosexual sex, trannies, public sex and so on. As if a close on
a ejaculating dick would be the quintessence of a revolutionary speech.
There's a bunch of unrelated scenes, as if the awful voice-over could
succeed in giving them some meaning.
An example: at one scene, the couple are lying on bed after sex, and
from nothing, the guy asks the girl about her biggest fantasy. Sexual?
she replies. Of course, he says. And she tells him how that she would
like have sex with him and a third woman, a blond with blue eyes. The
next day or so, they are getting their mail when they meet the new
neighbor: a sixteen blue eyed blond that are living next door. After
the badly filmed threesome, the guy says: thanks for Europe! (a place
where eh would have a three way sex with a minor). Did you get the
Gaspar Noé, by his main character, affirms that there's not sexual love
stories on the screen. I think he never saw any of Bernardo
Bertolucci's movies. Or the Spanish/French production Sex and Lucía, a
beautiful story about love with stunning and heartfelt sex scenes (Paz
Vega is incredible). Or even Betty Blue, for everybody's sake. Or even
9 Songs - even with all the bad reviews, this one is actually honest.
Sorry the rage, but it is inevitable. Noé should look better around
him, or, even better, he should head to the DVD section on a store and
just see how wrong he is.
I've read how the acting here is terrible, and it is a fact. The actors
are not even able to walk naturally (it is so staged that hurts), let
alone show deep feelings or have real sex. And despite what has been
said, I don't think it is difficult to find good actors that would
accept to be a part of this project if it was a good one. At least his
protagonist should have been more endearing - even if I'm not sure that
it would have saved this doomed story anyway. Because the problem here
is not just the bad acting, the lousy dialogues, the incredibly lousy
and staged sex scenes. The main trouble in this movie is the sexist,
arrogant, wrongful view about the world and people. And when a
filmmaker start this way, there's nothing that can save him from the
People were leaving the theater constantly, they were dropping like
flies. However, rather than doing that by how explicit the sex is, I
think people did leave for the sole reason of how bad is this movie.
It's unbearable in fact. And we see no end to it, two hours and fifteen
minutes of sheer bad filmmaking. Not could be more far from deep
emotion, an intense love story and visceral sex.
(First published at