This movie had one good thing going for it: it ended.
The plot was a haphazard collection of clichéd overdone trendy
horrorflick schlock. The writing reminded me of some things my
classmates wrote in 8th grade English. The acting was
passable...barely. Though, to be fair to the actors, I don't know how
they made it through the drudgery of a script. Even the basics were
awful. For instance, the sound of a gentleman removing his gun from his
holster is FAR louder than the sound of someone getting cracked in the
head with a rifle butt, or a car crashing into a tree. Logic is
entirely absent. A girl hits a bump in her suv, the suv STARTS to go
off the road, and she is already unconscious before the suv strikes
anything...and I'm not talking continuity slip here- I'm talking,
there's a shot to show you hey look she's knocked out...BY NOTHING. The
movie is just BAD. Look at this, I'm ranting; THAT'S how bad this movie
is. None of the plot "twists" are surprising, they're flat as a board.
None of the characters are engaging, they're trite and tiresome. The
soundtrack felt like I was being violated with a violin bow throughout
the whole movie. Hint: When nothing is happening THERE IS NO NEED FOR
LOUD-ASS SCREECHY STRINGS. SO STOP.
God, I'm so irked at this steaming puddle of drivel that I can't even
write a coherent review.
Some movies are so bad you can't help but laugh. Then, there's some
movies that are worse than that, and you just turn them off. Then,
there's the next level down, where you can't stop watching, just to see
if it's really as bad as it seems, and you always hate yourself for it
in the end. This is one of the latter.
This movie was so bad that it managed to bring GORE down. That's right.
A "gore" movie that made gore unenjoyable. And I don't mean "gross out"
unenjoyable, I mean painfully dull unenjoyable. Think about that for a
while. If there are mutilated corpses on screen and you are rolling
your eyes - SOMETHING IS VERY VERY WRONG.
I could go on, and on, and on- don't even get me started on the
Director's funny little preoccupation with a naked teenage boy. I
understand the attempt at a gimmick, but mr. director included wayyy
too many shots of "glistening" adolescent buttocks in the forest.
Sketchy. Perhaps the most disturbing part of the film. Yeah, I said
glistening. I thought I was watching a Roman Polanski or a Victor Salva
Speaking of said teenage boy, what a joke. The bloody kid shows up at
the sheriffs station and is supposed to terrify us by just standing
there. "OMG HE ARE COVERED IN BLOOD OH NOES!" All he does is make these
faces that are supposed to look dramatic and scary (all accompanied by
yet another godawful string hit), but in reality they look like the
poor kids trying to pass a kidney stone. Fail. Finally after x number
of hours handcuffed to a chair, he starts talking in an effects laden
voice. Again, fail. If this kids back from the dead to avenge, why
wouldn't he just get right to it, why go to the sheriffs station and
chill. I'll tell you why - because the movie sucks, and we needed a
half hour/45 minutes of constipated faces and blood randomly shooting
from orifices while tired cutout characters stumble around vomiting
awkward dialog and behaving senselessly as bloody writing appears on
the walls("no one leaves", Oooo spoooooky.) This isn't plot
development, this is tedium. At the end, we find out the "kid" is after
one or two "bad people" in the town. So, uh, why is he hassling the
sheriffs station, and writing things like "no one leaves" and "our fate
is yours" on the walls there? It's beyond senseless, it's pitiful. I'll
say it again: FAIL.
I've seen people criticize that this movie is style over substance, and
with all due respect, I have to disagree. The reason being that this
movie HAS no style. Seriously. It tries really really hard to be
gimmicky, and falls flat on it's face. Good style can carry a movie,
even if it's bad. This movie had NO style whatever. There was nothing
artful present. Nothing.
While on the topic of "artfulness", I've also seen people say that the
camera work was passable, some even went so far as to say good. Again,
I'm inclined to disagree. SO many shots were poorly composed, visually
flat, skewed at an angle, boring, showed nothing, etc etc etc.
If you like good horror flicks, intelligent horror flicks, or even a
good gore flick- Save yourself. Avoid this at all costs. It's a tired
rip-off collection of clichés that tries really hard to be Evil Dead
and fails miserably.
However, if you like smoking weed in your parents basement while you
listen to Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson, you think that "trent is
kewlies" and you dislike showers and thinking, this one may be for you.
It wasn't even worth the rental fee, let alone the time it took to
watch. I want my four dollars back. :[