Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


Action / Adventure / Comedy / Fantasy / Sci-Fi


Uploaded By: OTTO
Downloaded 663,906 times
November 26, 2014 at 04:27 AM


Megan Fox as April O'Neil
William Fichtner as Eric Sacks
Alan Ritchson as Raphael
Will Arnett as Vernon Fenwick
3D 720p 1080p
1.64 GB
23.976 fps
1hr 41 min
P/S 2 / 11
805.44 MB
23.976 fps
1hr 41 min
P/S 33 / 197
1.64 GB
23.976 fps
1hr 41 min
P/S 58 / 422

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by cloudsurfer 3 / 10

A Bad Movie, Not Just a Bad Turtles Movie

Folks, it's no exaggeration when I say this one is bad. And I'm not just reviewing it as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. The Ninja Turtles are a lore. Every telling of the story deserves its own version, like Dracula, Sherlock Holmes, or Batman. Adam West, Michael Keaton, Christian Bale, and Ben Affleck all play different versions of Batman in different universes. Though I have a version of the Turtles I like best, I can set aside that prejudice for this review. It's just a very awful film. It's so bad, I don't understand how the current rating stands at 6 stars.

The movie has no real sense of identity, like the filmmakers really had no idea what to do with it. Where are the Turtles going to go? What are they going to do when they get there? Is it going to be spring time or winter? Should it be in the city or in the mountains? Low to the ground in dark settings or high up on roof tops in broad daylight? Are the Turtles stealthy ninjas or mini-Hulks that just needlessly destroy stuff? And are they main characters or secondary plot pieces? Is April O'Neil tech savvy, or does she still conduct interviews with pen and paper? (Through the first half-hour, perhaps even by the end of the film, you'll have a tough time convincing yourself the title shouldn't have been "April O'Neil: The Movie.")

It's very evident that the writers did not know how to work with "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Again, this has nothing to do with a faithfulness to any kind of version of TMNT. Just, really, they had no clue how to make those four elements work. They're not so much teenagers as they are just dumb. The movie lets the Turtles aspect be self-implied. The Mutants part as well, though it does play loosely into the plot (heh, just kidding, there is no plot). The idea of ninjutsu, though, is a complete afterthought. Seriously, it's just sandwiched in there somewhere and plays no relevance to the story whatsoever, nor has an identifying presence for any character, even Splinter or Shredder.

Yeah, Shredder. That's a whole other useless incorporation. The guy is somewhere between a clunky Power Ranger villain (the ones in great big suits that don't move very well) and Bane from "Batman and Robin." He doesn't even fill the main villain role. That "honor" would go to William Fichtner's character, Eric sounds-like-sex Sacks. Shredder's just a tool. His appearance, fighting-style, and overall awkwardness are all loud, awful reminders of how the filmmakers knew nothing about ninjutsu or how to use it. "You know what? Just make 'em fight with ninja weapons, put lots and lots of blades around, and be sure the word 'Japan' gets into someone's origin story somewhere. Close enough."

Yes, the Turtles are kind of funny, but it's completely incidental. There were times when the movie tried to force something humorous, but in the theater I was in, no one laughed. And I was in a packed house. Their personalities are nothing but typecasting: Leo is the serious control-freak, Raphael the brooding B.A., Michelangelo is a goof-ball, and Donatello is the inventive... nerd! Yeah, nerds are inventive, right? Let's make him a snorting, glasses-wearing dork! You know what, just make him Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks. You never feel like you get to be a part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They're just kind of there. The viewer is more watching from April or Vern's vantage point, never fully involved in the brotherhood.

There's a whole lot more stupid that goes on for the sake of convenience: like Donatello's bo able to flip over an SUV, or the fact that an iron construction beam can't support the weight of Leo and Donnie, but Raph who comes to their rescue can (what, are they as heavy as semi-trucks?). Watch out for the abundance of product-placement. This is a Michael Bay produced film, remember. At one point, Splinter pretty much monologues a Pizza Hut ad.

In closing, I want to leave you with this, because until we get this, these horrible, ridiculous movies will continue to get made. In an interview with an MTV whoever, TMNT producer Michael Bay said that he doesn't care if people think his movies are bad. Speaking specifically about the latest Transformers installation, "They love to hate, and I don't care. Let them hate. They're still going to see the movie!"

This movie is a poo-pile of a film. I'm intentionally avoiding the usual puns like "it was a shell-acking" or "I left the theater shell-shocked" because, again, my affinity for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has nothing to do with how bad this movie is. As long as we keep paying to see what we know is going to be a bad movie, they'll keep getting made. And it doesn't matter that they're bad, because we'll pay for it no matter how bad it is.

Or maybe these movies keep getting manufactured because there is actually a niche of people who like them. After all, it has a rating of 6 out of 10 stars...

Reviewed by H_Spengler 1 / 10

Saw for free, still feel ripped off.

Seriously, Michael Bay & Co. should pay me for sitting through this ridiculous pile of tripe.

Grew up with the comics and cartoon show, loved the 1990 movie. Every sense I possess was repeatedly violated with this poor excuse of a greedy cash grab and pizza hut endorsement.

I knew not to expect, well, anything really that has Michael Bay's name attached to it, but somehow still managed to be surprised at the sheer badness.

The turtles themselves look strange, and act strange. Michaleangelo is like some weird semi-gangsta who is downright creepy in a continuing reference obsession with April O'Neil. Raphael is aloof, but exists little beyond that. That's as far as they went trying to define either one of them.

Leonardo, the brave leader, was completely robbed of his personality, characteristics, leadership and anything that would define him, and has always in the past. He is instead a dissolved Bouillon cube in a large pot of water....bland, bland, bland. His voice (Johnny Knoxville) is miscast, and would've been better befitting either Mikey or Raph...that is if they'd bothered to give them any personality.

The biggest violations however, lay with Donatello and Splinter, as it seems they thought that hyper-charging the characters would somehow make them interesting, endearing or watchable. "Donatello does machines" translates into exploiting him as a constant, textbook, super nerd. And he does absolutely nothing beyond that. Also, he looks like a Ghostbuster. Say hi to Dr. Donatello Stantz.

Instead of making Splinter the wise, insightful, deep, sensei he always has been, he's instead to a cardboard cutout that does a lot of "action stuff". Don't get me wrong, the Splinter of the cartoon and comics could certainly hold his own, but violence was always the last resort, and had a rationale. (reminds me of what they did to Yoda in the Star Wars prequels.) And he learns Ninjitsu from a book in the sewer, gone is any mysticism or any pivotal, emotional, or vital connection to important characters in the story.

Shredder is lame. There's no other way to put it. He is also a hyper charged extension "more blades piled on the suit will make him better!" He is unrecognizable beyond the pile of CGI blades, has no depth, no real motivation, and feels needlessly shoe horned into the "story" Especially since they terminated any connection with Splinter, or the long important history between them. (by the way, welcome to "plot convenience playhouse" when you find out that the turtles and Splinter were pets of April's when she was a girl. How convenient.

The biggest human violation is no doubt Megan Fox, who continues to show she's a vapid, terrible actress, incapable of emotion, facial expressions, or the ability to close her mouth. She's absolutely terrible and is no April O'Neil. Michael Bay continues to have an obsession with Megan Fox like you would not believe.

She also has no class, instead of choosing to take criticism constructively and look to improving herself and growing into a mature, capable lady, she instead publicly insults any who bashes this movie; (rightfully so) by saying "f**k you". Real mature Megan, and a great example for your children.

The best actor of the bunch, William Fichtner. I'm still trying to figure out what purpose he served and why he's in this movie to begin with, I keep looking, but...folks, I got nothing' (why is Will Arnett even here?)

There's also some defiance of physics as a mountain the size of Everest is apparently located not too far outside NYC, complete with a truck that slides down the side of it for ten straight minutes, with fast paced, confusing, unimpressive special effects.

The turtles are ridiculously bullet-proof (which leads me to why are the foot soldiers carrying machine guns? Or any guns for that matter?) The answer I came up with: lazy. Why bother to have some Ninjitsu students, or experts, or extras, in your Ninja movie, when it's easier to have a stunt guy fire a gun. (That or the entire budget went to lame special effects.)

Lots of low energy, thick glass shattering, metal side of van punching through escapes that make no sense at all. A yawn inducing, passionless, "tower rolling down the buildings of NYC" anti-climatic moments. Lame, just lame.

The solution: a marathon of the late 80's cartoon followed by a viewing of the 1990 movie..just to prove that Michael Bay hadn't killed my soul completely. 1/10.

Reviewed by Jake Townsend 5 / 10

You really should know what to expect by now

Here we go…

So Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the reboot to the ever so popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. Directed by Jonathan Liebesman for some reason and produced by Michael Bay, also for some reason.. You all know the story by now. 4 mutated turtles grow up in the sewer raised by a giant rat who knows martial arts and trains them so they can protect the city from Shredder. No difference in this movie.

So the movie opens up in sort of a graphic novel type animation telling the story of the turtles which I'll admit was a nice nod to the original source material from which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came from. From there we meet April (Megan Fox) who's trying to get a story about the evil foot clan that have been terrorizing the city. She then witnesses the turtles stop them and follows them to get evidence of their existence. The turtles stop her and return to their master who says they need April's help. I won't spoil why. From there they must work together and stop Shredder from releasing a toxin on the city.

I wanted simply one thing from this movie after all the crap I've seen from it over the last few years. I want the turtles to be the turtles. I want them to reflect how they were in the 2003 cartoon preferably. A darker take but still humorous and likable. I grew up on that and the 80's cartoon and 1990's movies. Thank the lord I got that. The turtles are the best part of this movie. They deliver some funny lines although not everyone of them hit. Like you can feel that the jokes were modeled for kids which the whole movie is basically. It's like a big toy commercial. Or a Crush soda commercial. Or a Samsung phone and tablet commercial. Yeeeeah lot of product placement in this movie. Very obvious at that. Anyways as for the other characters we have April O'Neil played by Megan Fox who was alright. I really wish they worked on her dramatic screams though because those were just awful. We also have Will Arnett as her camera man who I guess is supposed to be the comic relief in this movie but literally does not have one funny joke in the whole thing even though you can feel you're supposed to be laughing but I didn't even smirk. It was like watching a stand up comic bomb his performance. Splinter was an enjoyable character. You could really see how he tied this family together.

Now if there's one thing I like in a movie it's a good villain. Did I get this? No. No I did not. Shredder has no character to him at all. In the 2003 version of him he got all this character development and I learned the motivation behind why he did what he did. In this he's literally just a guy who wants to make money. Or at least help Eric Sacks (William Fichtner) make money which is a very stupid motivation in my book. Usually villains steal money for the purpose of something bigger but in this.. they just want money. Which Eric already has because he lives in a freakin castle on top of a mountain! How much more money does he need?! Sigh.. Shredder was just so one dimensional and uninteresting. I was so let down by this.

Well what about the effects? They're actually pretty good. They did make the turtles sweat a lot though. Like A LOT. But it looked nice so I was happy about that. One downside is the CGI went down a little when interacting with humans. Like in Transformers 4. Not much to say other than those two things because I didn't focus on it much.

One last thing and I know every reviewer is saying this but it can't be said enough. The climax of this movie literally is the end of The Amazing Spider-Man only in the day time. Seriously watch The Amazing Spider-Man before you see this and see how similar it is. It's crazy.

Going in if you know this director and producer you're not expecting anything amazing. I went in with extremely low expectations and they surpassed them but only very very slightly.

I give it a 5.5/10.

The theater had a bunch of 10 year olds who thought the movie was amazing so at least they hit their target audience. But as a long time Ninja Turtles fan I left disappointed and wanting a little more. If it earns back the money maybe a sequel will be better. It won't but a guy can dream.

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