The Nail Gun Massacre

1985

Action / Horror / Thriller

2
IMDb Rating 3.9 10 1104

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23.976 fps
1hr 25 min
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23.976 fps
1hr 25 min
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Movie Reviews

Reviewed by Mr_Ectoplasma 5 / 10

Atmospheric schlock

"The Nail Gun Massacre" is everything it sounds like—a psychopath is roaming the backwoods of Texas with a souped-up nail gun, turning men and women into human pincushions. Could it be related to a brutal rape that occurred some six months prior? An obvious riff in title on "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" and boasting an opening rape scene unabashedly culled from "I Spit on Your Grave," "The Nail Gun Massacre" is an unabashedly derivative mid-80s riff on slasher conventions, pulled together on a shoestring budget.

As bad as it sounds, I feel that this film has gotten a lot of heat from web critics who aren't really taking it on its own terms—this is not Bergman, Tarkovsky, or Kubrick—it isn't high art. It's a film whose singular distinguishing element is that its killer's weapon of choice is a nail gun. My point being, "The Nail Gun Massacre" doesn't claim to be anything other than what it is, and most horror audiences (especially those who have a taste for these older exploitation films) should know this.

That aside, the film is not a technical masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination. The murder scenes are surprisingly better than one would expect given the shoestring budget, and never cease to be elaborate or grotesque. A pulsing synth score accompanies most of the scenes, and is admittedly a bit overbearing, while the killer hurls goofy one-liners at the victims in an inexplicable robot voice. The acting overall is bad, but passable by eighties slasher standards. Most of the men are buffoons, and the women prancing around naked. In spite of those caveats though, the film does capture the quiet backwoods of Texas rather effectively, and it is an extremely atmospheric film given all of its shortcomings. The photography of the woods captures a strange foreboding that, whether intentional or just a happy accident, is far more nuanced than anything else about the film.

All in all, "The Nail Gun Massacre" is, at least as far as eighties slashers go, not nearly as bad of a film as some may lead you to believe. It's schlocky, gratuitous, and at times badly acted, but isn't that what we love these films for? It at least has the distinguishing feature of a nail gun- obsessed killer, and it also excels at capturing the dreariness of sleepy backwoods Texas, which is more than one would necessarily expect. 5/10.

Reviewed by Tikkin 4 / 10

has to be seen to be believed...

Every horror collector worth their salt will at least have heard of The Nail Gun Massacre. It's such a tempting title isn't it? I finally gave in and bought the special edition DVD. This film is one big mess from start to finish, but you already knew that. The most interesting thing in it was breasts, big huge breasts at that! One woman has breasts so big that they're all you (and the cameraman) can focus on. The biggest problem with Nail Gun Massacre is that you can't really hear what anyone is saying, making it hard to follow. Every time someone speaks there's a horrible noise that sounds like a passing train. Perhaps this was to cover the bad acting? If anything they should have removed it and let the actors do their thing, no matter how untalented they are. At least we can laugh at them then! The sound is atrocious, half the time the background noise is louder than what people are saying. You also can't hear the supposedly "funny" lines from the killer, as the voice is too distorted.

It does have it's good moments though. You can't help but laugh at such an inept film, with scenes such as a couple 'doing it' against a tree, where all you can see is the mans white ass jiggling around. The best part for me was when the killer says to the big breasted woman: "Get inside, big tits!" And there's another hilarious scene where a woman gets hysterical and says "I'm gonna die, I know I'm gonna die!" I would say the film was worth watching just for those two scenes!

For a low budget "so bad it's good" film, The Nail Gun Massacre is nothing special. There's other low budget films that are much funnier such as The Suckling and They Don't Cut The Grass Anymore (the acting is worse than Nail Gun Massacre, yet more hilarious).

Reviewed by ([email protected]) 1 / 10

A classic

This movie was great. Even just looking at the box, you know you have a winner, with two (thats right TWO) awful jokes on the front.

This movie has it all - thats right, the director even put in some porn scenes, so everybody is happy!! The soundtrack consists of, 1 song and the killer doing the evil laugh. This one song is reused over and over - everytime somebody turns the radio on, there it is!! The song itself is just Jimi Hendrix's Voodoo Child, but cleverly disguised (it sounds the same but with keyboards instead of guitars). The story is ridiculous (a killer on the loose with a nail gun, and thats it), but the director does try to add a mystery into the movie. If you don't solve it, you are stupid (sorry, but its true), but there was a clever way they covered it up - use different stunt doubles!! This way, the director has achieved nothing except to confuse the audience - well done!

The acting is horrible, and the movie is jam packed with flaws. My favourites were the dead man balancing himself out, and particularly the final death scene. I suppose this would count as a ******SPOILER****** (or am I just paranoid about getting banned?) but it wouldn't really spoil the movie. When the bad guy falls to his doom, it is obvious he landed on a mattress, because his foot flies back into the picture. Next cut of the camera, he is stuck feet first into the ground. A classic moment.

To sum up - great for a laugh, unless you get offended by pointless porn scenes or horrible movies.

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